Family Budget…and Corn!

My husband and I sat down and made a list of all of our monthly expenses.  We then went down that list and figured out where we could make cuts.  Since I gave birth prematurely at 29 1/2 weeks and had to be out of work a few extra months, our finances took a hit, and we’ve had to adjust accordingly.  I’ve been thankful that I was able to stay home with Butterball since his birth (and while he was in the NICU, I was able to go several times a day and pump for him).  But we paid a hefty price for that luxury.  With that said, it is extremely important to go through your expenses and pinpoint exactly what you’re spending your money on.  It will really open your eyes and help you plan your spending better.  By the way–we did all of this on a family walk this afternoon.  L.P. rode on his scooter and Butterball was snuggled against me in the Ergo.  Perfect ending to a busy day.

I wrote about our family garden a few weeks ago.  One of the things we’re growing is corn.  I took an empty apple container (from Costco) and planted my seeds in it.  The corn began to sprout almost immediately, and they’re getting to be a pretty good size to transplant into the garden any day now.

It’s been a lot of fun for everyone to watch our seeds turn into something we can eventually eat!

2 more days until the giveaway for pregnant or thinking-about-getting pregnant moms!  Check back with me on Monday!

Summer Time Fun

Yesterday was a real summer day.  I say “real,” because we’ve spent the first half of our summer with marine layer ruining our beach plans.  So, as you would on a real summer day, we went to the beach.

And then we managed to come home in time to take showers, even Butterball!  It was his first shower and he loved it.  I was a bit apprehensive of things like slipping, but we took it slow and were totally cautious and he had a blast, even when water splashed in his face.  We got all cleaned up and headed out to our weekly Municipal Band festivities…complete with a rainbow.  The ambiance reminds me of San Francisco on a warm day, when everyone heads out to their favorite parks and set up a blanket for some sun bathing and a nice picnic. 

We ended the evening with a nail-biting family Uno match and leftover peach cobbler.  We’re in the process of teaching L.P. good sportsmanship.  Fun times!

Tired

I find myself always tired.  I know it comes with the territory, or so I was warned for so many years, but it is still disappointing nevertheless.  I wish my old energy would return from my pre-pregnancy days. 

I guess it doesn’t help that I go to sleep late.  I can’t help it though, because if I didn’t, I’d never get anything done!  I have a professional cat-napper for a baby.  He sleeps through the night like an angel, going down anytime between 9-10PM and not waking up until 8AM (except for a quick nurse at 5 or 6AM).  I keep telling myself that when he wakes up at 5 or 6 AM to nurse, I should stay awake.  But it never works.  Sometimes I even let him cuddle up against me and sleep a few hours with me, and then I’m doomed.  There’s no way I’m getting out of bed and waking up when I have a cuddlebug next to me. 

I’m wondering if I’ll get more done when I go back to work.  Which, by the way, I’m trying to pump myself up about.  Going back to work.  I’ve been out of work since just before Christmas, when we went on winter break (we’re teachers).  Butterball decided to enter this world the morning of the day I was supposed to go back to work after break. I never went back.  So, that should add a new layer of complexity to our already hectic lives.

Yesterday after our torturous adventure to the zoo in boiling hot weather I came home to my husband finishing up the dinner I had already started.  It was seriously so good!  We had marinated tri-tip steak, baked potatos, salad, and I made homemade peach cobbler (with L.P.’s help) for dessert.  Don’t ask me where the energy came from, but I scrounged some up to finish the night with the cobbler. 

I had an aunt who was crazy busy all the time and she was like an energizer bunny at home, keeping it sparkling clean despite the interference by my slob of an uncle.  I asked her what her secret was, and she said “never lay down.  Don’t sit down.  Don’t rest period.”

And I believe her, because once you do, you’re done!

A Summer Trip to the Zoo

Last week I was complaining about this July gloom in Southern California that was messing up my beach plans.  Unfortunately, the old saying “be careful what you wish for” has come back to bite me in the butt. 

Let me tell you folks…going to the L.A. Zoo on a hot day with two babies and a naughty 7 year old is pure exhaustion and stress.  It hasn’t been very hot lately, so my friend and I thought we were good to go.  She brought her 5-month old, I brought my 6-month ol dand 7-year old.  The sunscreen was applied generously, hats secured, lunches and drinks packed, and off we went.  We were an hour delayed thanks to an emergency bathroom run for L.P. and getting all the baby gear into one car, but we were doing okay. 

And then the drive began…the first bit of unraveling in our day.  40 minutes of two babies taking turns CRYING their heads off and L.P. throwing his hands up in the air exclaiming “I can’t take this anymore!” after he spent the entire time shaking toys in front of their faces to appease the babies.  It was pure and utter stress.

When we finally got there, it didn’t take long to figure out we were going to melt.  It didn’t matter if Butterball was in the Ergo or in the stroller, he was sweating bullets and uncomfortable.  I’m usually quite the trooper, but even I was ready to call it quits five minutes into the trip, and I had been really looking forward to the zoo. 

And to make matters worse, aside from the crying babies and oppressive heat, L.P. thought it was a good idea to be a big brat. 

Do you ever have a friend who sort of oversteps their boundaries with dealing with your kid?  Like…they’re always telling your kid what to do?  I’ve been pretty patient because my friend is a teacher and I’ve just discounted it to her putting on her teacher hat, but it got to the point where she was promising him things I wasn’t about to agree with…like buying some junk food instead of eating the lunch I packed for him.  Or going somewhere after I told him to stay next to me.  So like any smart kid, L.P. figured out he would use her to get what he wanted (or at least try) in front of me.  Sorry…not gonna happen. 

We saw a few animals and took a bunch of breaks before going home and enduring an hour long ride in traffic with a screaming baby (mine…hers fell asleep).  Needless to say, I’ve got a glass of wine next to me as we speak. 

A few highlights:

Even the kangaroo wanted to pass out from the heat!

So…moral of the story…don’t try to attempt outdoor trips in extreme heat with little babies who really don’t care what a zebra or giraffe looks like anyway.  No amount of water is going to help and you’ll be spending your entire time taking breaks.  At the very least, force your husbands to go so you won’t have to balance the baby in one arm and push the stroller that is loaded up with your “day trip” junk.

 Daddy recently tried out the Ergo for the first time.  He liked it!  For “bigger” daddies, the Ergo has an extender for the waist.  I only know this because my good friend has a “bigger” husband that needed it.  At any rate, I’m still loving the Ergo.  In fact, I was crazy protective over that thing.  You know how you have to park your stroller when you go on rides?  I made my husband hide my Ergo when I wasn’t using it because “any mother who knows what that is will know how valuable it is!”  It was useful throughout the day, even on a few rides.  It also has pockets for storage, and pockets are wonderful when you are on the go.

Butterball’s uncle who lives in San Jose sent him the Pink Floyd onesie as a present today. 

Pink Floyd prism Infant Baby black S/S onesie

Last week, his aunt gave him the Beatles onesie, AC/DC onesie, and Run DMC.  My husband isn’t too pleased to say the least.  You see, my husband is stuck in the 80’s, but a very small niche of the 80’s…like Siouxsie and the Banshees and Bauhaus.  I didn’t know who they were before I met him, seeing as how I was just a little kid when he was rocking out in the 80’s.  At any rate, Butterball’s onesies are here to stay…the hubby can DEAL! 

In the last week or so, Butterball has been able to grab objects.   I never anticipated how exciting it would be to watch your baby hit these developmental milestones.  He’s totally playing with toys and loving it.  In the above picture, he’s with his “friends,” Ralphie the puppy and Bo his doll who was his NICU “lovey.” 

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If you’re pregnant, make sure you check back this week for a giveaway!

1st Family Disneyland Trip

When you are born and raised in Orange County, it’s impossible to not have at least one friend of a friend who can get you into Disneyland for free.  When my mom called me up last week to tell me that she has somebody who could get all three of us (baby was free) in for FREE, I was beyond ecstatic, because L.P. has been desperate to go, and the steep Disney price tag pretty much eliminated our chances of going anytime soon. 

We woke up early yesterday to get there on time.  My husband packed sandwiches, drinks, and snacks (Disney allows you to bring outside food), and I got the caravan of kid-related necessities (change of clothes, diapers, etc) together for our departure.   It was a big load, and I was quickly beginning to wonder if we overpacked. 

Off we went, happy to have made it successfully out of the house and our estimated time of arrival was EARLY for once. 

And then we hit it…Disneyland traffic.  We should’ve known better, being Anaheim natives and all once upon a time.  Getting off the freeway and trying to park in the parking structure was a 45 minute nightmare that rendered us officially LATE, stressed, and on edge.  Trying to get two kids out of the structure, in line for the tram, and then on the tram was an exercise of patience, balance, and parenting skills.  Folding up the stroller, carrying 0ur junk in every hand available, wishing for more arms and less crowds of people pushing their way around us…

We learned a lot about family outings.  For starters, we learned that we could go to the back of the tram and get our entire stroller onboard without unpacking or folding anything. 

We learned not to overpack, and to make sure the things we did pack were packed properly so we didn’t have squished peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by lunch time. 

We learned to leave an hour earlier than we thought would be early.

But there was also a lot of things we did right, like packing enough drinks to keep us hydrated and happy without spending money in the money pit of Disneyland.  We had enough hats, sunscreen, and warm clothes for the cooler evening temperatures.  We were able to all go on rides and accommodate a little baby who couldn’t go on all the rides.

We managed to meet up with friends and have an easygoing, non-drama day.  Going with a group can be difficult, but luckily our group members are Disney regulars and didn’t mind doing the things we wanted to do.

  

We re-created the magic we felt as kids for another kidlet, whose eyes were big and full of excitement in the Happiest Place on Earth.

And we got to be kids again,  about all the times we went to Disneyland in our lifetimes. 

Of course, we weren’t always wearing the nostalgic rose-colored glasses.  My husband and I couldn’t help but make observations as adults.  Granted, we’ve come a few times when we were dating to Disneyland, so we’ve made these observations before, but they were different this time.  Different because this was the first time we came as our little family.

Disneyland is a place of magic for kids, but a giant resource-using, consumption-happy snowglobe where people rack up debt on their credit card to pay for it all.  It’s a place where you’ll see people from almost every corner of the world, an amazing blend of different cultures, languages, colors, styles, expectations, attitudes, religions…and yet despite all the uniqueness everyone was there for the same reasons.  We are all the same in the end.  And even though the Small World ride grossly stereotypes people (I’m sorry, but Arabs do not get around on flying carpets!), the superficial theme of it all is enough to induce happiness.  Or maybe it’s the cheerful, catchy music every ride plays. 

Okay, enough of the boring adult analysis, it was a fun day!

We stuck around long enough to see the 9:30 PM firework show, even though my husband swore we’d be home by then.  Or at least he was hoping…

For some reason the trams going back to the parking lot were a nightmare.  They were so efficient in the morning when they wanted our money, but at 10:30PM they weren’t coming with regularity.  The kids were having melt downs, the adults were crankier than ever.  Everyone in line had eyes that revealed a hard day of fun and limp bodies that were ready to collapse on warm beds and fall asleep as soon as their heads hit their pillows.  The end of the night is the hardest. 

…and a few lessons from our 1st family amusement park trip on a budget.

1.  Get started super early if you expect to leave the house by a certain time.

2.  Divide up the prep work…it makes for a nice “checks and balances” to make sure all the important stuff comes with you.

3.  Expect to take at least an hour parking, taking the tram, and all that good stuff. 

4.  Make a list of your “must sees” and do those first.  Inevitably you won’t have enough time for everything.

5.  Pack at least all of your snacks, drinks, and lunch.  If you have to buy food, limit it to one thing (we got dinner…$30 for hamburgers that weren’t very good.  What are ya gonna do?).  We didn’t buy anything else.

6.  Give the kids a set budget they can spend, since they will inevitably want to buy something.  L.P. got a bubble gun for less than $10. 

7.  Don’t be afraid to use your connections.  We got our tickets for free, and my mom donated money for our dinner, which was super wonderful of her.  So, we spent a whopping $14 on parking for the whole day. 

8.  Bring clothes for different temperatures and prepare for cooler nights.

9.  Lots and lots of sunscreen.  Reapply frequently, as sunscreen wears off and its protection will be compromised. 

10.  Go with other adults if you can.  It makes it nice for switching off line duty and ride duty.  I was able to sit out with my husband a few times, which was nice.

11.  Take your time.  Enjoy quiet benches in the shade where you can relax, re-charge, and people-watch. 

12.  Don’t take everything so seriously.  The traffic, the heat, the rude people behind you that keep bumping into you in line…let it all roll off your back and enjoy the day.

13.  Take lots of pictures and videos.  They are so much fun to look at later on! 

14.  Don’t forget your hats!  My hat saved me from the nasty headaches I get from being in the sun too long.

I’m hoping to squeeze another Disney trip in before next summer, since my husband and I are talking about #2.5 soon.  I’m not digging the idea of going big and pregnant 😉 

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In other news, I’m going to have a giveaway soon for the pregnant mamas. Stay tuned!

Tantrums and Birthdays

Have you seen Parenthood?  Not the new TV show, but the original movie with Steve Martin.  Steve Martin’s son in the movie is a complete blubbering mess for most of the movie, irritating him to no end (not to mention embarrassing the hell out of him).

Well, that was us yesterday.  Complete with two adults collapsed in bed at the end of the night. 

It was L.P.’s birthday.  His real birthday, as opposed to his “party” birthday that we had a few weekends ago.  So, we had to do something for him.

His main request was that we take his neighbor friend with us bowling.  Wish granted.  The boys were rambunctious in the car, prompting me to offer to drive lest my husband have a vapor lock behind the wheel.  Adding a kid to the mix really reminded us how great a bigger car would be right about now (we have an Altima). 

We got to the bowling alley and all was well.  Shoes, lightweight balls, program names into our lane, and we were ready to bowl.  The birthday boy got to go first.  Everything was going swimmingly, until the birthday boy started to lose.

And that prompted dirty looks, refusing to move out of the lane for the next person to bowl, tears, sobbing, and “I hate you” directed toward me when I made him sit out for his behavior.

Ordinarily I would have just packed up and taken them all home after the first game, but what do you do when it’s the birthday boy being a brat?  My husband took him outside for the rest of the game while I played with his friend.  He came back and the same nonsense ensued:  crying, pouting, poor attitude. 

My husband and I made mental notes to ourselves:  teach him good sportsmanship.

I was humiliated.  People were staring at us.  The little neighbor friend looked at us like…wtf is this kid’s problem??!!  I wanted to scream to everyone else “I didn’t raise him!  We just got him in November!” instead of looking like two parents who didn’t raise this kid very well.  I refrained, and we plunged forward trying to use that teachable moment, but I couldn’t help but resent that fact that we went through all this trouble and spent all this money to get a temper tantrum from a poor sport.  And I thought in my head the entire time, when I was a kid, my parents would have sent me to a labor camp for this behavior!  Okay, they wouldn’t have really done that, but they were no nonsense! 

And don’t you just love it when the kids act up in public, bufffered by friends and strangers?  You know, when you say through clenched teeth you just wait until we get home buster!  Time out for you! 

He settled down in the next game when he began winning and got himself a few spares.  The very nice older couple next to us cheered him on, and soon he was offering to teach us how to play bowling, completely unaware that it was him that was on the chair blubbering and sobbing like a toddler. 

Everything got better after that.  We finished up two more games and headed home. 

The boys played at the neighbor’s house for a little bit before L.P. came home and I made the meal he requested—grilled cheese sandwich. 

We toasted our glasses full of apple juice and followed the gourmet sandwiches with Marie Callendar’s lemon cream cheese pie (by request of the birthday boy), complete with a “trick” sparkling candle that made him laugh endlessly.  

 

Butterball watched his brother from the other side of the table, very interested in what was going on.

 

And being the gluttons for punishment that we are, we’re going to attempt yet another outing (after we swore we were taking a hiatus from outings) and going to the beach with another little friend of L.P.’s.  Crossing our fingers it goes well.

Family Zoo Excursion

We’ve been on a role with doing things on our time off with the family.  Beach trip, parks, concert in the park, play dates, library, karate, visiting family…we’ve been staying busy, on top of the usual order of business we have at home.  So today I had plans to see a mummy exhibit in Los Angeles.  L.P. quickly informed us that he had different plans.  He was interested in doing something with his neighbor friend.  Um…okay.  Normally I would have politely educated him about who makes the plans around here, but we were looking at about $60 for tickets to the museum, so his plan was cheaper.   My wonderful husband made lunch to-go for all of us, the kids were loaded in the car, and off we went to the zoo.  It’s a teeny tiny zoo, one that my husband and I went to as children.  And although it has changed over the years (it’s been many years since either of us have been), it’s still the cozy little zoo we fondly remembered.

It was an overcast and drizzly day.  Since when is July overcast?!  Butterball was able to wear this dinosaur sweater as a result, and it was pretty darn cute, even if he did sort of look like an old man in it 🙂 

Taking another self-portrait, since nobody seems to ever take my picture for me.  Rockin’ the Ergo…soooooo handy let me tell ya. 

Mama and baby monkies.  The babies were riding on their mamas’ backs.  It was probably one of the most sweetest things I’ve ever seen.  I have to admit…I’ve always been the type to love baby animals.  But to be a mother now myself and see baby animals…it’s heart meling. 

The boys trying to find the ostrich.  Or maybe they were looking for the train.  Silly boys. 

Daddy and Baby

And this was pretty much the extent of our day.  I came home feeling overwhelmingly tired.  Butterball and I fell asleep snuggled next to each other for an hour nap while my husband whipped up a great dinner (gyoza, salad, corn on the cob,with banana bread as dessert). 

Tomorrow is L.P.’s birthday!

Holiday Weekend

 

$3 water hopscotch from Target on the 4th of July provided much entertainment.

Dinner was filet mignon, corn on the cob, french fries, and for dessert warm applie pie with a scoop of vanilla icecream.  We spent it at my parents’ house.

There’s a little boy across the street that L.P. has befriended.  We were eating dinner when the little boy came to the door.

“Go tell him you need ten minutes to finish dinner and then you will go out there to play,” I told L.P. to tell the kid.

“Okay.”

After maybe thirty seconds, we see both boys returning to the patio where we were all eating our meal.

“I told him he can have dinner with us,” L.P. said nonchalantly, suddenly turning into the host.  After kicking my dad out of his chair, he got his little friend set up with food, some Martinelli’s apple juice, and even some dessert. 

Butterball slept through the fireworks–out like a light.  And we’re talking big giant booms on our street.  We have a resident pyro down the street that puts on a show that rivals the Disneyland fireworks.  The kids were tickled pink to have front row seats.

Parenting Styles

It’s so hard being a baby. 

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting.  My husband and I are deeply entrenched in the biggest job in the world–parenting–and experiencing what it is like to truly work together for a common goal (raising productive, happy, well-adjusted kids).  The only problem is that “working together” is easier said than done. 

I like to think of parenting with your spouse in terms of driving a car.  There are different parenting relationships.

Scenario #1:  both parents work together to control the same steering wheel, going toward the same destination with a lot of compromise and coordination.

Scenario #2:  one parent steers in one direction, and the other parent goes in an opposite direction.  The parents have different destinations and do not work together.

Scenario #3:  One parent steers the car while the other lounges in the passenger seat. 

A lot of days we’re scenario #3.

I’m the disciplinarian.  I always have been.  I’m more experienced with kids and even in my teaching job, my class is always much more in line than my husband’s classes.  To him, being strict is too much work.  Although he sees the merit in it, he’d rather somebody else do it for him. 

For me, I don’t want to be the one driving all the time.  To be the driver 24/7 means I get pinned as the Big Bad Wolf, and while raising children is no popularity contest, I kind of think both parents should both partake in wearing the “wolf” hat. 

As for me and my husband, we have a lot of things going for us as parents working together.  We agree on almost all fundamental aspects of how we want to raise our children.  We always back the other parent’s decisions up.  We always stand by each other’s decisions, even when we aren’t 100% sure if they were the right ones.  In other words, we’re a unified front with the kids. 

Sometimes I feel like we somewhat complement each other.  He’s much more compassionate and understanding than I am, giving the children a refuge from my strict expectations.  On the other hand, he can be gullible whereas I can sniff bologna a mile a way. 

I suppose it’s nearly impossible to find the perfect scenario between parents raising their children.  We are, of course, a work in progress.  Everyday we are able to add a new piece to our mosaic of life.  Everyday we learn and grow as parents.